Archives for October 2013

12 Things Your Mother-in-Law Wants To Tell You by Mary May Larmoyeux



Recently I asked some friends a few simple questions about in-laws. In my unofficial poll, I asked women of all ages several questions, including: “What makes a good daughter-in-law?” and “What do you wish you could tell your daughter-in-law?”

Here are 12 themes that emerged from the responses I received:

1.  Although my relationship with my son has changed, remember that I am still his mother.

“Even though you are the woman in my son’s life now, be considerate of the fact that I used to be the woman in his life.”

“The most important thing that you can do for me as your mother-in-law is to love my son unconditionally. … You’ve now taken my spot as my son’s biggest fan.”

2. Accept me for who I am.

“Don’t try to change me.”

“Accept my eccentricities.”

“Realize that I may do things differently in my home. Try to understand my ways.”

3. Please respect my age and experience.

“I would like to know how to share some of my experience with you without offending or intruding.”

“Respect my past experiences and realize that I understand the personalities in the family.”

4. Talk with me about hard things.

“If I have offended you, I may not know this. You have the freedom to say to me, nicely,  ‘Remember when you said ______. Did you mean _____?’”

“I am not perfect. Let’s both assume that the other is doing the best she can.”

“If you are feeling hurt by something I did or said, find a way to gently bring it up. You may even want to ask me if you could have done something differently.”

5. Try to understand.

“When there are problems in family relationships, each person needs to overlook with grace when possible, and when not, address the issues kindly.”

“Reject bitterness.”

“Don’t judge. There are two sides to any story.”

6. Remember, we are family.

“I really appreciate it when you tell me about some of the family’s funny stories.”

“It’s nice to be invited to events with your parents, brothers/sisters, etc., … sharing as one big family.”

“Please include me in some of the family activities and traditions.”

“I love it when you ask me to go shopping. I think my son likes the fact that we share this common bond together